When You Know Read online

  “This is hot.”

  “Touch yourself as I talk, Susan. Imagine this is really happening.”

  Susan moved one hand to her breast and one between her legs, aware that her body already thought it was happening. “Keep going,” she said, starting to make small circles with her fingers.

  “You’re watching me as I arouse myself. I’m pulling on my nipples and making them really hard. I’m squeezing them and moaning out in desire. You see me, inches away, wet and waiting. You try and move forwards with your mouth. You’re desperate to taste me. Desperate to feel my wetness on your tongue, but I move backwards. This is about me now. Not you. I trail my fingers down my stomach, really slowly. You watch as I close my eyes, getting carried away. You see me parting my legs wider. I’m completely open. I’m right in front of you. You moan as you imagine your fingers in me. Your tongue parting me. But instead you watch as I slam my own fingers deep inside. I push them hard. Really hard.” Jenna swallowed as she watched the image on her screen. Susan was doing exactly the same thing to herself, pushing her fingers as deep as they’d go. Jenna gasped and continued to talk. “You see me fucking my fingers so hard into myself, but I tell you I want more. I tell you I need more. You look up at me, helpless, expecting me to untie you, but I don’t. Instead I take the back of your head and force you forward onto me. I tilt my pelvis up to you and use your tongue for my own pleasure. My heels are in your back and my pussy’s in your face and—”

  “Jenna!!” gasped Susan. “I just came!”

  Jenna swallowed, quickening the pace with her own fingers. “Tell me how it felt. I’m really close as well.”

  Susan rolled onto her side and watched Jenna writhing around on the small screen. “Come for me, Jenna. I want you to come for me, because what happens next, is me, ripping the silk scarf free from my wrists. I rip it free and I pin you down by your shoulders. I straddle your chest, bringing my wetness up to your mouth. I lean backwards and reach down with my fingers. I push them inside you. I bring you so close before—”

  “Fuckkkk!”

  “Wait! I haven’t finished my scenario yet!”

  “Fuck!” said Jenna, shuddering with the contractions. “You just made me come!”

  “I didn’t get chance to do anything!”

  Jenna moaned with satisfaction. “You did. I was watching you. I was watching you touch yourself. I was watching you bite your bottom lip. I was watching you push your fingers deep inside.”

  Susan giggled. “Crikey that was good.”

  “I think we did okay for our first attempt,” laughed Jenna.

  “Sorry, I get it now. No questioning, just go with the flow.”

  Jenna smiled at Susan’s red cheeks. “You’re so gorgeous, Susan, and I’m completely and utterly head over heels in love with you.”

  “I miss you.”

  “I miss you too,” said Jenna, “but when you know you know, and you know we’re going to make it.”

  “I know we will,” said Susan with a smile. She paused. “Is that someone knocking?”

  Jenna tilted her head. “They’ll go away.”

  “It might be Sylvie. Say hello to her for me, would you?”

  Jenna sat up as the knocking got louder. “I’m not at Sylvie’s this week. I’m at the chalet.”

  “The ski rep chalet?”

  “Yep. I’m playing guide to a group of execs this week.”

  “Oh right.” Susan heard the knocking again. “Hadn’t you better answer the door though?”

  “No, it’s fine. I’m still basking in the afterglow of that incredible orgasm you just gave me.”

  “It might be important. Are you expecting anyone?”

  Jenna shook her head. “No.”

  “Go and answer the door. I’ll wait.”

  “Ugh, it won’t be important,” said Jenna, reaching down for her jumper and climbing off the bed.

  Susan watched Jenna disappear out of view and wondered how she hadn’t noticed the absence of Sylvie’s old-fashioned wallpaper. “Aren’t you going to put on your pants?” she shouted.

  “Maybe,” said Jenna, momentarily popping her head back into the screen. “Give me a second.”

  Susan dropped her feet off the bed and drew herself closer to the phone, closing her eyes and trying to listen as best she could. Jenna was talking and laughing and someone was shouting in a high-pitched excitable voice. Susan brought her ear as close to the screen as she could, making out the words, “Party, party, party,” and, “She’s back! The lady’s back in town!”

  “Why’s your earlobe filling my phone, Susan?”

  Susan jumped backwards and looked at Jenna smiling on the screen. “Who was that?”

  “Amber.”

  “Amber?”

  “Yes, we’re all heading out in a bit.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes, what are you up to tonight?”

  Susan glanced at the clock. “It’s nine thirty.”

  “Ten thirty here.”

  “But Amber? I thought—”

  “Hey, life’s too short to hold grudges. She apologised on the way up.”

  “You’ve been with Amber?”

  “I caught a lift from the airport with her school. Poor thing’s got another rough comp this week. We picked her up at the services.”

  Susan grabbed her shirt from the floor and held it against her bare chest. “Jenna! Don’t you remember how mean she was to me? Don’t you remember what she said?”

  “She was drunk, Susan. She’s apologised.”

  “Not to me she hasn’t.”

  “Shall I call her back in? She really was embarrassed about her behaviour. She literally begged for forgiveness. Hey, and listen, she’s not the first person to get rip roaring drunk and say something bad.”

  “But she was horrible. She was totally mean.”

  “I know, but she’s sorry. Life’s too short. Let me call her in.”

  “No!” gasped Susan, quite unsure what to make of the whole situation. “Let me get this right. It’s your first night back, and you’re going out with Amber?”

  “Yes, and some others. Why? What are you up to?”

  Susan looked at the clock again. “It’s nine thirty!”

  “Exactly. The night’s young. There’s no school tomorrow. What are your plans?”

  Susan swallowed. “Is it wrong that I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable with this?”

  “With what? With me going out?”

  “No, with you going out with Amber.”

  Jenna sighed. “Do we need to talk about this?”

  “Was that a sigh?”

  “What?”

  Susan nodded. “You sighed.”

  “What do you want me to say? She’s a friend. She’s a colleague. She’ll be out and about lots over the next few months.”

  Susan closed her eyes and shook her head. “Look at me. I’m annoying you already.”

  “You’re not annoying me, Susan, but you said you trusted me. I’ve told you that Amber won’t be a problem.”

  “I do trust you. I don’t trust her.”

  “It’s fine. I’ll text you when I get in.” Jenna smiled. “Come on, tell me what you’re up to tonight. Your turn to make me jealous.”

  Susan paused. “I don’t know. Umm, I might see who’s about in the communal lounge, or—”

  “What do you usually do on a Saturday night?”

  “Umm, well I tend to catch up on any marking I’m behind with, or—”

  “Oh get yourself down to the Black Bear, Susan. I don’t want you sitting around obsessing about what I’m getting up to, or what time I’ll be back in.”

  “You think I obsess?”

  “No, I didn’t mean it like that. I just want you to have fun.”

  Susan shrugged her shoulders. “With who?”

  “Who do you usually have fun with?”

  Susan took her eyes away from the screen. “It’s fine. I’ll see if anyone wants to go for a drink.”

&nbs
p; “Aren’t you on Facebook? Amber was telling me there’s a new feature that shows which of your friends are close by. See who’s around. Go have some fun.”

  “Jenna, I set up my profile years ago and I only had two friends then. I wouldn’t have a clue what my password was or how to get back on there. And anyway, why would I want to join? You’re not on there.”

  “I know! Far too many skeletons in far too many closets for that.”

  Susan frowned. “Was Amber trying to persuade you to join so she could keep track of your movements and bump into you all of the time?”

  “No! She just mentioned it, so I thought I’d mention it to you.”

  “I’m fine. I’ve got friends.”

  “Good, so call them up and keep yourself busy for the next three months.”

  “I will. Don’t worry about me.”

  Jenna nodded. “Good, and you don’t worry about me either.”

  Susan frowned. “Is this what this is? You’re worried I’m going to be sitting at home all alone, obsessing about the fun you’re having, so you want me to go out and have some fun of my own?”

  Jenna sighed. “No. I just asked what you were up to tonight.”

  “You’re sighing again. Oh my goodness, I’m annoying you. Right, don’t worry, I’m reactivating my Facebook account and I’ll have a different activity lined up for every single evening.” Susan smiled. “I’m not even sure I’ll have time for any more sex-scenario sessions with you, sorry.”

  “Oh I love you, Susan Quinn.”

  Susan sniffed. “Just don’t feel sorry for me.”

  “I don’t.”

  “How about we both join Facebook as another way of keeping in contact?”

  Jenna clenched her jaw. “No way. That site has two purposes. One is for boasting, like … Ooo look at my new car and my big house and haven’t I aged well, selfie, selfie, selfie … and the other is for moaning, like … What are you talking behind my back for? Karma’s gunna get you, bitch!”

  Susan laughed. “It’s not all like that.”

  “It is, and I’ve got enough friends already.”

  “And I haven’t?”

  “No, I didn’t mean it like that.” Jenna sighed. “Listen I have to go, but I’ll give you a call tomorrow.”

  “Stop sighing! I’m sorry. I just hate the fact you’re not here.”

  “We’ll get through this,” said Jenna. “We’ll be fine.”

  “Yeah?”

  “We will!”

  Susan rubbed the sides of her face. “I know, I know, I know, I’m sorry. Right, you have a great evening and I’ll speak to you tomorrow.” She paused. “Text me when you get in though, just so I know that you’re safe.”

  “Yes, boss,” said Jenna, saluting her own forehead.

  “Okay, have fun. I love you.”

  Jenna moved her lips into the screen. “I love you too.”

  Susan lifted the phone and brought it to her own mouth. She kissed the lips. “I love you more,” she said before realising she’d somehow managed to hang up.

  Chapter Seven

  Susan pulled her clothes on and checked the star-shaped clock hanging on the wall next to her shelf of perfectly polished thimbles: Jenna’s recent gift now taking centre stage. It was 9.45 p.m., and usually she’d be winding down, or maybe even turning in, but she didn’t want Jenna to think she had absolutely no life whatsoever, so she slipped on her shoes and unlocked her apartment door, heading down the corridor towards the staff lounge. There were six other ground floor apartments in her living quarters and all had access to the shared communal area, which was incredibly old-fashioned and always smelt like a charity shop. She pushed open the door and was hit by the immediate fustiness. Susan walked inside and let her eyes adjust to the poorly lit room. Mel Copeland, the school’s live-in PE teacher, was feet up, head back, snoring loudly on one of the sunken couches. Mary Llewellyn and Martha Adams, two of the school’s oldest members of staff, were bent over a game of chess, and Danielle Watts, the school nurse, was tucking into what looked like her third bag of family-sized chocolate treats, and laughing loudly at a rerun of Dad’s Army.

  Susan edged past a couple of clothes horses that were weighed down with damp hockey shirts and socks. She stumbled slightly as she failed to spot the large bag of lacrosse sticks left open on the floor. Susan took a seat next to Danielle and glanced at the television. “I used to watch this when I was younger,” she said, with a smile.

  Danielle offered out a bag of toffees. “Never gets old.”

  Susan took one and started to chew, wondering how best to sound casual, yet appealing. “Finishes at ten, doesn’t it?”

  “Yeah,” said Danielle, reaching down for her large glass of cola.

  Susan paused. “The Black Bear usually has a musician playing on a Saturday night.”

  “Does it?”

  Susan stretched out her arms and sucked on her lips. “I feel in the mood for something, but I’m not quite sure what.”

  Danielle offered the bag of Cadbury Clusters. Susan shook her head so Danielle reached down and lifted the half empty family bag of spicy tortilla chips, offering them out instead.

  “No,” said Susan, “I think I might fancy a drink.”

  Danielle passed over her glass of cola. “Or I’ve got some Fanta in the fridge if you prefer that? Might be a bit flat though.”

  Susan tapped her teeth together. “No, I think I’m fancying something a little bit stronger.”

  Old Martha Adams lifted her head from the chess board and reached into the pocket of her long cardigan. “Heads up,” she shouted, as she threw over the small silver hip flask.

  Susan missed the catch and flinched as the flask hit her on the knee. “Thanks,” she said, not daring to open the lid and find out what was inside. She took a deep breath. “We could head up for last orders if any one fancies it?”

  No one spoke.

  “The musician will be on for another hour at least.”

  Danielle popped a couple of chocolate eclairs into her mouth. “No, it’s only on for half an hour. Mmm.” She chewed noisily. “It starts at ten.”

  “What does?” Susan frowned.

  “The results show. Mmm. The Voice. That lady with the specs is just awful! Mmm. She’s got to go!”

  Susan shook her head. “No, I mean the musician at the Black Bear.”

  Danielle swallowed. “What musician?”

  “The one at the Black Bear. Shall we go and maybe catch the last hour? We could walk down? I’ll buy the drinks.”

  Danielle snorted. “Ha. Now?”

  “I’m serious. I’ve heard the music’s really good.”

  Danielle delved into her bag of pick and mix. “Too cold. Too late. Too weird at ten p.m. on a Saturday night.”

  Susan nodded. “Just a thought.” She twisted back around on the couch and stretched out her legs, finally looking up at the two elderly women. “I don’t suppose you two fancy a drink after that game of chess do you? I could order us a taxi so you wouldn’t have to walk up the drive.”

  Mary Llewellyn and Martha Adams didn’t even look up.

  Susan spoke even louder, conscious of the buzzing coming from old Mary’s large hearing aids. “Mary, the Black Bear?”

  “Evening prayer?”

  “No, I said the Black Bear. Shall we go?”

  “You like Bestow?” The old lady closed her eyes. “Of course. No problem. Bestow onto us, dear Lord Jesus the strength—”

  Martha slapped her friend on the arm. “It’s your move!”

  “Oh goody.” The little old lady opened her eyes and lifted her rook.

  Susan sighed and reached into her pocket for her phone. She unlocked the screen and scrolled to the third page, tapping on the contacts tab. Surely there would be someone who would enjoy a spot of spur of the moment fun. She moved through her contacts.

  Accountant – Carl

  China Garden – Chinese

  Chiropodist

  Danielle Watts –
School

  Dentist

  Doctors

  Eden Hairdressers

  Jenna James

  Marcus Ramsbottom – School

  My number

  Natalie Jakes

  Susan paused. Natalie Jakes. A friend she’d made a couple of months ago at the school Christmas Fayre. Natalie, the daughter of a school governor, had been talked into helping out on the bauble stall, as had Susan. Their friendship had blossomed over a six hour period of selling and wrapping, and numbers were swapped with a pledge to catch up again in the New Year. Susan checked the time, 9.55 p.m., and remembered how Natalie had talked about her new house on the Westbury Homes estate opposite the school. She thought back to the way Natalie had laughed about funny nights out and holidays abroad. Yes, thought Susan, Natalie Jakes was a fun seeking, spur of the moment, type girl. She started to type, trying to sound as cool as she possibly could.

  Hey, what’s up? How’s the start of your year been? Heading over to the Black Bear for a couple of late night drinks now if you fancy it? Sorry, been meaning to catch up for ages, just been hectic, you know how it is!

  Susan pressed send and waited.

  “Pass the port, please,” said Martha, stretching out her hand for the hip flask.

  “Sorry, here you go,” said Susan, passing it back.

  Martha twisted the lid and took a sip. “Are you going to the Black Bear?”

  “My evening prayer.” Mary nodded. “Let me continue.”

  “Just turn them off!” shouted Martha, tapping on her own ears and signalling to her friend. She looked back at Susan. “I could do with another bottle of port, please. I tend to whizz up there on my mobility scooter most Sunday mornings, but you could save me a trip. Angel behind the bar knows the one I like. It’s called Red Ruby.”

  Susan nodded. “I’m probably heading off in a bit. Catching up with an old friend.” She smiled as her phone beeped. “That’ll be her now.”

  “Have fun!” said Danielle as she stuffed a whole flake into her mouth sideways.

  “I will,” said Susan, standing up and swiping her phone to life. She read the text on the screen: Sorry. Who is this? I don’t have your number stored.

  Susan’s cheeks flared up with colour, for once pleased with the poor lighting in the room.