When You Know Read online

  Jenna cried out through the clasped fingers. Her voice was muffled. “I’m going to come!”

  Susan quickened her pace, losing herself between her girlfriend’s legs. “Now, Jenna,” she urged, using her free thumb to jab upwards against Jenna’s clit.

  Jenna screamed, almost biting the hand that was pinning her by the mouth against the door. “Yes!” she cried. “Yes, yes, yes!”

  Susan’s final thrust almost lifted Jenna off the floor. “Fuck,” she gasped to herself, flicking her head violently to the side and getting rid of the towel that had come loose. She kept her fingers in position and removed her hand from Jenna’s mouth, holding Jenna by the cheek and kissing her passionately on the lips. She kept their chests together and felt both their hearts pounding at a crazy pace. She moved her lips to her girlfriend’s ear and whispered. “It’s more than energy, Jenna. We’re connected. We’re meant to be together. It’s like a unique intensity that ignites when we’re one.”

  Jenna slowly opened her eyes and whispered right back. “We’re certainly connected right now.”

  “Sorry. You ready?” asked Susan.

  Jenna kept her breaths shallow, moaning slightly as Susan removed her fingers. “Mmm, you’re incredible.”

  “No,” said Susan, shaking her damp hair around her shoulders, “I was rushed. I couldn’t help it. But I’m going to make up for it now.” She kissed Jenna gently on the lips before taking her hand and guiding her around the corner towards the bed.

  “You have the sexiest arse,” said Jenna, watching the nakedness in front of her.

  “It’s yours. All of me belongs to you.”

  “To do what I want with?”

  Susan stopped at the bed and turned around. “Yes, to do what you want with. But first I want to do you.” She smiled and ran her thumb along Jenna’s lips. “Slowly. Softly. With love.” She took hold of the side of Jenna’s jumper and lifted it off. “I think you just felt my passion.” She unhooked the bra and let it drop to the floor. “Now I want you to feel my affection.” Susan moved her slow kisses down Jenna’s collarbone and over her breasts, letting her eyelashes flicker over Jenna’s nipples. She pushed on the sides of Jenna’s jeans and wiggled them past her bottom. “Sit down on the bed,” she said, dropping onto her own knees on the carpet. She pulled at the jeans, pants, and socks, and looked up at her girlfriend, naked, with just her tousled brown hair cascading around her shoulders. Susan stared into Jenna’s big eyes and shook her head. “I love you so much, and I’m so, so, sorry.”

  Jenna reached out and took Susan’s face in her hands. “I’m sorry too. I love you, Susan. Make love to me. Please, make love to me.”

  Susan lifted herself up on her knees and kissed the woman who meant more to her than anyone had ever done before. “I know we need to talk, but not yet. Let’s just savour the moment.” She smiled. “You’re here. I’m here.” She pulled Jenna’s bottom further towards the edge of the bed, causing Jenna to wrap her legs around her back. “You’re wet. Why talk?”

  “No need,” said Jenna, pulling Susan in for a long, slow embrace. “Come up here on the bed with me.”

  “Not yet,” said Susan, kneeling back down. “Wrap your legs around my shoulders. I want to kiss you.”

  “You’ve been kissing me.”

  “I want to kiss you properly,” said Susan, causing a moan of anticipation in Jenna, who did as instructed and wrapped her legs around Susan’s shoulders, crossing them at the ankles.

  “I’m just going to kiss you,” said Susan once more, “kiss you like I love you.”

  Jenna leaned back on her arms, letting her head drop backwards, stretching her neck up towards Susan’s ceiling. She moaned lightly as her body was drawn further forwards, her legs parted with Susan’s mouth. “I need to touch you too,” she gasped. “I need—” she cried out as Susan’s tongue pushed inside her. “Keep going,” she said instead. “Yes, yes, keep going.”

  Susan held tightly onto the back of Jenna’s body, her palms flat against the skin, pulling her closer, burying her head deeper. She kissed Jenna’s warmth like she would her mouth, moaning into her lips and pressing passionately into her opening. Jenna tasted so good. So soft. So inviting. Susan kissed harder, overcome with desire, pressing her nails into Jenna’s back and forcing her tongue deeper.

  Jenna took her weight on one hand and used the other to grab the back of Susan’s head, keeping her in position and adding more pressure. “Fuck me, Susan. Just fuck me!”

  Susan swallowed more of Jenna, flicking her tongue faster and adding a rotating motion with her head. She pulled on Jenna’s buttocks, parting her with both hands from behind. Her fingers sliding into Jenna’s warmth, allowing her mouth time to focus on her clit. She encased it fully and pushed her tongue flat against it, moving in slow hard circles.

  Jenna was gasping at the assault from all angles, crying out that she was really close. “More!” she shouted.

  Susan pulled outwards with each finger that was inside, opening Jenna further, preparing her for more. She added another finger from each side, filling Jenna completely, increasing the pressure with her tongue.

  Jenna was tilting her pelvis upwards, almost taking charge of the pace against Susan’s mouth, still holding on to the back of Susan’s head. “I’m coming,” she screamed, fucking herself forwards one final time.

  Susan stayed in position, feeling Jenna tighten around her fingers and quiver against her tongue, aware of the rush of moisture against her chin. She held her position before calming her breathing and pulling away, using the bottom of the bedspread to discreetly pat her face. She knelt back up and gasped. “Sorry, I somehow ended up fucking you again. I just haven’t got the control to take my time with you.”

  Jenna let her arm buckle underneath her and flopped backwards onto the bed. “This trip has already been worth my while.”

  “How long are you—” Susan stopped herself. “No, not yet. No talking. Let’s just lie together. Can I just hold you?” She climbed up onto the bed, relieved to stretch out her knees. “Come on,” she said, pulling back the covers. “Come tuck yourself under here with me.”

  Jenna shuffled herself up the bed and under the warm duvet. “Can I try?” she said.

  Susan moved some of the long brown waves behind Jenna’s ear. “Try what?”

  “Try and make love to you.” She smiled. “I don’t think half of my body’s working any more so it’s not like I’m going to fling you into the seesaw or the rodeo.”

  Susan laughed. “Have we done those yet?”

  “Probably,” said Jenna, slowly rolling on top of Susan’s body and parting her legs with her own. “But I’ll only be capable of making limited movements for the next five minutes or so.” She rested herself on her elbows either side of Susan’s arms. “Like maybe this one,” she said, slowly moving her thigh against Susan’s warmth.

  Susan moaned. “That one’s good.”

  “Or this one,” whispered Jenna, gently pressing her breasts into Susan’s and circling their nipples together.

  “Mmm, that one’s good too.”

  Jenna dropped her head, moving her lips onto Susan’s in such an exquisitely gentle fashion that it almost made Susan cry. Susan returned the tender embrace, pulling back slightly and losing herself in Jenna’s emotion-filled eyes, uttering the words that came so easily. “I love you so much.”

  “I know,” said Jenna, gently building up a slow rhythm with her hips. “I’m here because I know.”

  Susan lifted her hands to Jenna’s cheeks, rubbing them lightly with her thumbs. “I forgot, didn’t I? You told me not to forget, but I did.” She closed her eyes and rested her head on the pillow. “How could I forget? How could I possibly forget this?”

  Jenna kissed the tops of Susan’s eyelids. “You didn’t forget, you just needed reminding.”

  “Mmm,” moaned Susan as Jenna pushed more deeply with her thigh. “Isn’t that the same thing?”

  “No, gorgeous, just relax. Ju
st feel me.”

  Susan opened her eyes and stared into Jenna’s soul. “I feel you everywhere. With every single beat of my heart. With every single thought in my head.” She smiled. “With every single tingling hair on my body.” She gasped as Jenna gently circled her nipple with her tongue. “My nerve endings feel you. Every single one of them.”

  “Good,” said Jenna, silencing Susan with her lips, “because I love you.”

  Susan gasped as Jenna kissed deeper, moving their bodies as one, arousing her slowly, fully, perfectly.

  Making love.

  Chapter Twenty Four

  Susan lifted her legs onto Jenna’s and reached down for her cup of tea. Both were now dressed after their morning in bed and sitting on the sofa, neither really looking forward to the chat they were about to have, but realising they had to have it all the same.

  “Shall I start?” asked Jenna.

  Susan took a nervous sip of tea and nodded. “Okay.”

  “I emailed you yesterday, after our Skype, after Amber barged in.”

  “I didn’t get it,” said Susan with a frown.

  Jenna shrugged. “I deleted it. I was about to press send when yours came through.”

  “Did your email say the same thing as my email?”

  “God no!” gasped Jenna. “I was pouring my heart out. I was declaring my love! I think I almost popped a marriage proposal in there at one point.”

  “No.”

  “I might as well have done.” She took Susan’s mug of tea and placed it back down on the floor, reaching up to hold Susan’s hands. “I’m head over heels in love with you, Susan. I wanted to make things right. I wanted you to understand the bigger picture.” She shook her head. “I didn’t kiss Jade, and I hadn’t planned on meeting her again last night, no matter what Amber said. The thought of you hurt by the whole fiasco was killing me. I had to email you. I had to connect with you. I had to get you to feel me. I had to get you to understand. I’m in this, Susan. I’m in this forever.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  Jenna smiled. “There’s no need. Everything’s fine now, but amongst all of my clichéd ramblings was my news.”

  “No, I’m sorry.”

  “Forget it. Let me tell you my news.”

  Susan looked away. “I kissed someone.”

  “My exciting news about …” Jenna paused. “What? When?” She bent her head and tried to catch Susan’s eyes. “Who?”

  Susan didn’t look up. “Felicity Fenwick.”

  “In school?” Jenna laughed. “Ha! I always knew you were gay. So what? What does that matter? Are you going to confess to having had a slew of lesbian lovers?” She smiled. “I don’t care. At least it explains why you’re so good in bed.”

  “Last night.”

  Jenna paused. “What?”

  “Last night. I kissed Felicity Fenwick, last night. Well, no, she kissed me. But maybe I was to blame. I did agree to go for drinks with her after all, and maybe I gave off signals.” Susan’s eyes were back and pleading. “But I didn’t mean to. She came on to me. Our lips met, and maybe to someone watching it might have looked like we kissed, but it was one-sided, and I ran off, and now I feel so guilty for judging you.”

  Jenna was frowning. “Why were you and Felicity Fenwick together last night?” She paused. “Oh no, Susan. Did you really mean what you wrote in your email? Did you end it because of her? Have I just made a total fool out of myself by flying back over here?”

  “No! No! Of course not. She got back in contact. I got roped into going to the Black Bear by Martha and Mary, so I suggested we met. Danielle was meant to be coming out too but she got hit in the face by a rake and fell off the mobility scooter—”

  “What?”

  “Oh it doesn’t matter. The point is, I understand.” She picked Jenna’s hand back up. “I trust you. I trust what you said about Jade. I trust that it wasn’t your fault. I understand how it can happen.”

  “What was her name at school? Fuck-Em-All Felicity? She’s a predator. I don’t think you should see her again.”

  “She’s harmless.”

  Jenna lifted her eyes, realising that Susan had clocked it too. “Is this how you felt when I called Amber harmless? When I called Jade harmless?”

  “But Felicity is harmless.”

  “She kissed you! Do you like her?”

  “Yes, as a friend. She’s fun. She’s in the area. I think she’ll be good for me.”

  “Someone who tries to kiss you isn’t good for you.”

  “Amber’s constantly trying to kiss you!”

  “No she’s not!”

  “Yes she is!” Susan shook her head. “Felicity’s fine.”

  “Fine then.”

  “Good. I’m glad you trust me.”

  “I do, but I don’t trust her. But anyway. My news. Right, here goes.” Jenna paused. “Wait. You’re sure you don’t like her? You’re sure there wasn’t any chemistry?”

  Susan laughed. “Okay I get it. I was an idiot bombarding you with my insecurities.”

  “No I’m serious. I need to know.”

  “Stop it,” laughed Susan, shoving Jenna by the arm. “You’ve made your point.”

  “Stop what?” asked Jenna, confused.

  “Tell me your news.”

  Jenna looked at Susan and tilted her head. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

  “No! You’re the one not telling me your news.” She sighed. “I get it though. I’ve been a total loser. I forgot what we had. I forgot the strength of our connection. I forgot what I already knew.” She nodded. “I already knew we were for keeps. I shouldn’t have questioned anything.”

  Jenna smiled. “Really? You think we’ve got the happy ever after?”

  “I know we have, and I know you know that too.”

  Jenna laughed. “Wow. One quick flight and a morning of sex can work wonders.”

  Susan squeezed Jenna’s hands before reaching down for their mugs. “Here—”

  “No, put them back down. I don’t want you scalding yourself when you hear my news.”

  Susan laughed and put them back on the carpet. “You’re pregnant.”

  “Yes, triplets. I’m also back. For good.”

  Susan gasped. “What? No. You’re not?” She shook her head. “No, of course you’re not. You’ve got to work. You’ve got to finish the season.”

  “I can get cover. Lisa’s gone to pick up my school today, and there’ll be someone available to take them this week.”

  “No,” Susan was shaking her head. “No, you can’t. It’s your job. You love your job.”

  “I love you more.”

  Susan leaned forwards and wrapped her arms around Jenna’s shoulders. “The thought’s lovely. The fact you flew over here last night is lovely.” She paused. “Hey, is that why I couldn’t get through to you on your phone? Anyway, last night, or this morning, or whenever you did—”

  “I left the moment I got your email.”

  Susan shook her head at herself. “I’m so sorry. I’m so ashamed of myself. But the fact you flew over to make things right has taught me the biggest lesson in love. If you feel it, it’s real, and you should never let anyone tell you it isn’t.” She sighed. “I should have ignored the photos, the comments, the silly insecurities that I let creep in. I should have known.”

  “We’re both new to this,” said Jenna. “There were bound to be some teething problems.”

  “I think we’ve gone through three sets of dentures already.” She shook her head at herself once more. “Please forgive me. I’ve been such a fool. Crikey, you’re contemplating leaving your job because of my neediness.”

  “No, I’m leaving my job because I miss you. I want us. I want us right now.”

  “We have us already. We’ll call, Skype and message. We’ll get through this, Jenna. But you can’t leave. You can’t just jump ship. It wouldn’t look good on your School Direct interview, and I know you, you love Club Ski. You’d hate to let them
down.”

  “I said I’d call them this afternoon.” She shrugged. “I didn’t know if you were going to turn me away at the door, or how this might go. But they can cover it. I know they can.”

  “Lessons start tomorrow, don’t they?”

  “Yes, why?”

  “We’ll have lunch and I’ll drive you back to the airport. There are dozens of flights out of London to Geneva on a Saturday. You’ll be back in time to have the evening meal with your school and sort the staff out for the week ahead.”

  “No.”

  “Yes.”

  Jenna sighed. “I’m not happy over there.”

  “Because I was being a lunatic.”

  “No.” She paused. “Well maybe a little bit. But I want to be with you. I want to have this every day.”

  “We will. Just not yet.” Susan smiled. “Plus I think your pussy would be in plaster if we had this every day.”

  “Susan Quinn!” laughed Jenna.

  “It would, but seriously I’m so touched at the thought, and you jumping on an impromptu flight to declare your love will take some beating in the romance stakes.”

  “I don’t think I declared anything. I think you had your fingers inside me before I even stepped through the door. I actually only came back to collect some socks.”

  Susan batted her on the shoulder. “Stop it, and drink your tea, lady. We’re on a mission to get you back to the airport.”

  “Do we have to?”

  “Yes, we do.”

  ****

  “Why’s the car park so busy?” asked Jenna as they stepped down onto the gravel path, having walked the long way round the red-brick building, desperate to prolong their departure as much as they could.

  “Today’s the first round of vice principal interviews.”

  “On a Saturday? Poor Battle-Axe Brown. The end of an era.”